Poetri

It’s like having a breathing apparatus surgically attached to you. You can’t breathe without it. If you breathe too fast or too slow, or make a sudden move – you pass out and risk dying. So you’ve got to master controlling your breathing. And you’re still affected by everything everyone else is affected by. You have emotional reactions and psychosomatic reactions, and physiological reactions to the world around you. And in the world around you people jump and play and do all the things that people do. You’ve found ways to cope with your “handicap” – to participate in everything everyone else is doing, even making your apparatus invisible. But in the quiet moments of alone time, you realize that even though you have been able to participate in everything that everyone else is doing, and in some cases do them well – you don’t enjoy it. You can’t enjoy it. It’s work. And you get angry and upset, alone, because you realize you are not “normal” and that you can never enjoy a “normal” life.

It can drive a person to suicide or to God.

To understand that what you believe has been shaped and conditioned by propaganda – that your ideals have been influenced if not created by a paradigm that is inherently alien to you, then making the transition from where you are to what makes sense, is practical, and is attainable is difficult at best. But once we let go of those foreign dictates we have adopted as our own, those societal suggestions we’ve internalized – once we let go of the lie/illusion we can find our way.

The problem is that some people don’t want to change. As a matter of fact, most people don’t. They don’t see a need to change that which has prescribed the content and context of their lives. They are content to assimilate.

Once you’ve made your decision however, your destiny is decided. As impossible as it is to continue doing the same thing and get a different result, it is impossible to do your best by living a lie. And as sweet as lies can be – they ultimately leave a bitter taste.