Nothing New Under the Sun

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when ...

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed Johnny 'playing church' with their cat. Johnny had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. Johnny's mother smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!' Johnny looked up at ...

The following is being circulated as a legitimate news story. It is, in fact, SATIRE. Check out The Peoples News where it originated. After Judge Cabrera's historic ruling, little Clitoria Jackson will likely undergo a name change. (DETROIT) In a decision that's expected to send shockwaves through the African-American community-and yet, give much relief to teachers everywhere-a federal judge ruled today that black women no longer have independent naming rights ...

3-year-old Reese: 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: 'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His ...

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. 2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something. 3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________" and know you have been spotted. 4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another. 5. You can eat a multi-course meal ...

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car, and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down ...

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his ...

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some shit on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow shit, it began to realize how warm it was. The shit was actually thawing him out! He lay ...